Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in lei_in_the_wind's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
12:38 pm	It's been a little while since I last updated so... here I go. I now have a new little nephew. All 9lbs. of him. He's the sweetest looking baby. When I was looking at him sleeping in the nursery, I almost wanted to have a child.... just not anytime soon. I Itty Bitty Kitty is probably pregnant. She got out of the house for about 30 minutes. Male cats all over the place. Slut. I don't want to talk to my dad anymore. I can't fake liking him. So, I don't think I'm gonna tell him b/c I'm afraid of confrontation. But I do know that Im not gonna go outta my way to have a relationship with him. He didn't try for 19 years, why should I? I had a dream last night. We were at a party and everyone was having a great time. All of a sudden Pat told me to look and pointed in the other direction. I looked and saw my dog, Luna. She was wagging her tail and jumping on me and licking me. I loved her. People say that animals don't go to heaven when they die, but humans do. I don't believe that. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. So where does my Luna's energy go? When she got hit, the guy just dragged her in the woods. He didn't even call us. She just rotted in the woods. I would have buried all 100 lbs. of her. Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: Air (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
11:36 am	Patrick really makes me angry sometimes. I mean REALLY angry. This morning he called me from work and asked me what I bought last night @ walmart. I told him "pressed powder and an eyeliner... why?" and he was like "because I found this reciept for two nail-polishes in the car..." I said "Oh! that was Robyn's nail-polish she got" Of course he didn't believe me and started interrogating me. He was like "where's YOUR receipt?!?!" I don't know. it's makeup... it's not like I'm going to be taking it back or anything... then he starts talking about all the times I've lied to him and how is he supposed to trust me if I lie all the time... I said "when's the LAST time you can remember me lying?" He was like "uhh... sometime last week I know for sure..." *sighs* MAYBE I wouldn't lie in the first place if he wasn't so czar-esque over the damned money. I mean I know we have so save our money but jesus christ, let's freak out over a few dollars. and besides, he lied to me. We went to the casino for our anniversary with our friends, Jew and Heidi... Jew's real name is Ryan but... whatever, ANYWAY, Heidi and I were @ the pool and Pat and Ryan were gonna go gambling a LITTLE! I told Pat "go get like $40 out and bring me the ATM card back so you don't feel inclined to get more $$ out." He was like "I'll be alright..." He came back in a little while said he lost $20. So I was like okay, that's alright. Like 30 minutes later he was like "umm... I actually lost like $60." His justification for that lie was he didn't want to ruin the evening and had planned on telling me later. So that lie was OK. I hate how he tries to justify his lying but mine are done just to piss him off. I mean don't get me wrong, I really love Patrick but I just don't like it when he gets all grouchy. Out of all the times I've lied to pat, which wasn't many, I can guarantee that 99% of them had to do with me buying something and not telling him. Current Mood: angry Current Music: Tear the Roof off the Sucker(Give up the Funk)-Parliment (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 5th, 2004
11:45 pm	I miss my Luna. I really miss her.... oh, by the way, my Luna was my Great Dane I had for all of 2 months before some asshole ran her over. I was looking at other Great Danes on the internet, one's that needed rescuing but realized 1. their $275-$350 and 2. I can't have another one until we fence in part of our yard. but I miss her SOOOOO much! I know... I know... I have 3 cats already...*sighs* I remember I could hug her. She was only 7 months old and she was already taller than I was. I remember one time Pat told me he drove up and the water meter reader guy was just standing in the yard and Luna was just standing there looking at him. The guy was scared shitless but the funny thing was Luna was even more scared of that dude. Sometimes I feel really lonely. For no reason... I was everything to make me happy, a house, a new car, ANIMALS!!!, my computer.... but I feel like I don't have enough friends. At school, making friends was really easy, but now, Leslie's all grown up and tends to neglect that area in her life.... Pat had this really big, funky looking spider on his foot today. it was totally gross. spiders make me cry... I hate 'em. I can handle snakes, lizards, rollie pollies, catapillars.... anything EXCEPT spiders. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: 311 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 4th, 2004
3:46 pm	I'm REALLY outta touch when it comes to music..... 1. Nirvana - sure 2. Sublime – never really listened to Sublime 3. Depeche Mode - yeah 4. Linkin Park - never 5. No Doubt – maybe? 6. Rage Against the Machine – Love it 7. U2 – nah. 8. Green Day –when I was 12. 9. Beastie Boys – oh yeah. 10. Red Hot Chili Peppers – some of it. 11. blink182 – maybe when I’m feeling optimistic…. Which is hardly ever. 12. System of a Down – a little … their first album was cool. 13. The Smashing Pumpkins - yeah 14. Korn – I’ve grown outta Korn. 15. Bob Marley – yeah. Bob Marley is one of the coolest ppl. NOT because he smoked pot. 16. Metallica – Not anything after their black album. 17. The Offspring- smash was cool 18. The Cure – LOVE 19. Incubus – their mellower stuff 20. Stone Temple Pilots – yeah. 21. Pearl Jam - nope 22. Tool – yeah. 23. Radiohead – MY FAVORITE BAND IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!! 24. 311 - -grassroots, 311 is one of my fav. bands 25. Nine Inch Nails – nin is another one of my fav. Bands, in the top 5. 26. Weezer – I do like Weezer but lately I’ve just not been in the mood for it. 27. Social Distortion - ? 28. The Smiths/Morrissey – oh yeah. 29. Jane's Addiction – yeah, he has one of the most unique voices 30. Oingo Boingo - ? 31. Alice In Chains - sure 32. Limp Bizkit – can eat their own shit and die. 33. The Clash – sure. 34. Dave Matthews Band – bleck. 35. Creed – shut the fuck up. 36. The Ramones - yeah 37. Staind - he needs to kill himself already. 38. R.E.M. – sure 39. Bush – when I was 14. 40. Bad Religion - you know I have one of their cd’s and NEVER listened to it…. ? 41. Foo Fighters - maybe 42. New Order - ? 43. Soundgarden – I dunno. 44. Garbage – yeah… oh yeah… 45. Pennywise - ? 46. Violent Femmes – yeah… all day long. 47. Rob Zombie/White Zombie – *shrugs* 48. David Bowie - *shrugs again* space oddity was cool… 49. Godsmack – bleck! 50. Duran Duran – yes! I readily admit it… 51. P.O.D. - no 52. Coldplay - yeah 53. Beck - yeah 54. Eminem - nah 55. Deftones - yes. 56. Cypress Hill - nah 57. Oasis – again… when I was 14. 58. Jimmy Eat World - nah 59. Tori Amos - ? 61. The Pixies – YES! 62. Blondie – YES! 63. Live - maybe 64. Hole – a little maybe this much |----| 65. Rancid - dunno 66. Fatboy Slim – didn’t they make like only one song? 67. Transplants - ? 68. Marilyn Manson – yeah… a lot 69. Save Ferris - ? 70. The Sex Pistols - ? 71. Disturbed - no 72. Billy Idol – crush when I was 6, but no… 73. The Strokes - maybe 74. The Police - yeah 75. Primus - sure 76. The Go-Go's – yeah 77. Everclear - nah 78. Bjork – oh yeah 79. Dramarama - ? 80. Prodigy - sure 81. Poison - nah 82. Cake - yeah 83. Scorpions - no 84. Third Eye Blind - no 85. Sum 41 - no 86. Travis – whom? 87. Papa Roach - no 88. Devo - yes. 89. A Perfect Circle - yeah 90. New Found Glory - nah 91. The Cranberries - yeah 92. Lit - nah 93. The B-52's - sure 94. Puddle of Mudd - no 95. Blur - yeah 96. Unwritten Law - ? 97. Pet Shop Boys - ? 98. Hoobastank – maybe …. nah 99. X - ? 100. Lenny Kravitz - nope 101. Adema - ? 102. Echo & the Bunnymen – HELL YEAH!!!! 103. Kid Rock – *laughs* nah 104. INXS - yeah 105. Everlast/House of Pain - nope 106. Faith No More - sure 107. Ozzy Osbourne – Black Sabbath yes… Ozzy:no 108. Blind Guardian - ? 109. Nightwish - ? 110. Helloween - ? 111. Gamma Ray - ? 112. Stratovarius - ? 113. Iron maiden - no 114. Judas Priest - no 115. Children of Bodom - ? 116. Vintersorg - ?. 117. Sinergy - ? 118. Sonata Arctica - ? 119. Kamelot - ? 120. Queen - yeah 121. Loudermilk - ? 122. Iced Earth - ? 123. Lost Horizon - ? 124. Lacuna Coil - ? 125. Manowar - ? 126. Rammstein – are german 127. Zwan- never listened to… 128. River City Rebels- ? 129. Against Me! - ? 130. The genius who wrote "She Blinded me with Science" - Thomas Dolby! yeah 131. Weird Al – I really don’t know 132. The Gathering – suck ass 133. Crocodile Hunter- huh? 134. Mu Meson - ? 135. Death Cab For Cutie - ? 136. Rooney - ?. 137. Ben Kweller - ? 138. The Maha Vishnu Orchestra - ? 139. Diana Krall - ? 140. The Mars Volta - ? 141. Coheed And Cambria - ? 142. The Juliana Theory - ? 143. Alkaline Trio - ? 144. The Ataris - ? 145. Switchfoot - ? 146. The Used - no 147. Good Charlotte -nah 148. Avril Lavigne – is Canadian… there’s just no excuse. 149. Simple Plan - ? 150. Yellowcard- ? 151. Story Of The Year - ? 152. Taking Back Sunday -? 153. Vendetta Red -? 154. Lillix - ? (Comment on this)
3:40 pm	(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK (_) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (_) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR (X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN (_) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI (_) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE (_) I NEVER HAD SEX (X) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC (the woods:yes, on the sidewalk:no) (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED (_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED (_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT (X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME (_) I NEVER BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE (_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY) (_) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING (_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF (X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (_) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED (X) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER (_) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB (X) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE (X) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE (_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND (X) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER (_) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS (X) I NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE (_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL (_) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER (well, the co-worker was my husband. does that count?) (_) I NEVER CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE (X) I NEVER HAD SEX AT THE OFFICE (_) I'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED (X) I'VE NEVER BEEN DIVORCED (X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON WITHIN THE SAME WEEK (X) I NEVER HAVE POSED NUDE (X) I NEVER GOT SOMEONE DRUNK JUST TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM (_) I NEVER WALK IN ON PEOPLE HAVING SEX (X) I NEVER TRIED BEASTIALITY (_) I'VE NEVER HAD SOMEONE CUM IN MY MOUTH. (_) I'VE NEVER USED A DILDO (_) I'VE NEVER DISOWNED ANY OF MY FRIENDS (X) I'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A TEACHER (_) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX IN WATER (_) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX IN THE BACK OF A CAR (_) I've NEVER HAD SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE IN THE ROOM. (_) I've never gone a day without listening to music. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Comment on this)
1:27 pm	blah blah blah well, I just bought a kick ass Radiohead t-shirt. so, that's cool. My mom called me @ 9am, on sunday, my ONLY day I can sleep in, and started whining about how I haven't called her in a few weeks when it had actually only been a few days. *sighs deeply* I wish I had a normal mom. I mean she's normal.. but it's like she doesn't want anyone else to have my attention, which can cause problems since I'm married. And on top of ALLLL of that, my stepdad's son, Neil, and his wife had a baby and they're over there ALLL the time. My mom's watching the kid so it's not like I can actually spent some quality time with her. His wife is SO FSCKING annoying too. She complains about everything, has a really nasaly voice, and what really pisses me off is she constantly gets on to my dog DeeDee who is old and sweet. Just because that rugrat is here now doesn't mean that bitch can just shove my DeeDee out of the picture. DAMMIT! *slams fist down on table* And I work all the time. That's the main reason why I haven't called her. She can understand that tho because she has a 9-5 desk job. I love my mom. One of my cats are in heat. so it's "meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...." and she slid down my bass guitar with her nails! my husband is crazy.... he's on the other side of the house and all I hear is "AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" He chants "I wanna smash cats face in!" *laughs*needless to say, he is NUTS!! but I love him... Current Mood: twitchy Current Music: Nine Inch Nails (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 1st, 2004
9:42 pm	fart fart fart..... well, I apologized to Samantha about 2 days ago and I finally got a response. (yay!) anyway, I'm glad I made the first move because I don't think I could have handled another SECOND of it continuing. Sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. I mean ANYTHING could have triggered this whole ordeal. I feel like its just all my fault. *sigh* anyway, work was alright... got to work with Robo and Jayt. WHICH ROCKED!! Even though, Robin, you are going to hell for sending that poor girl in 'da hood.' Lotsa new people. I wonder why Chris is hiring all these new people? I love my husband.... and my kitties!!! I'm thankful for the few friends I have and hope for new ones. One kinda needs someone to talk to other than one's husband, although he is great in every way. We got one of those automatic kitty pooper-scoopers, and they suck. they MIGHT work for one cat but not for three. I'm kinda anxious about the next couple of days. I'm not sure why.... I just am. Hopefully, nothing but good things to come. blah blah blah.... Current Mood: lonely Current Music: nothing (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
11:03 am	I tend to get a little nervous ..... sometimes. Current Mood: scared Current Music: Pixies (Comment on this)
Monday, March 29th, 2004
5:15 am	just one more thang... I was almost asleep and my mind was winding. it wouldn't shut the fsck up! sometimes, I let things get under my skin. it will burrow and burrow and there's nothing I can do about it. I become so obsessed with this .... unimportant thing, it drives me to the brink of madness! Madness. I tell you!! anyway, I'm racking my brain to find ways to NOT let this effect me so much. ...... Yet, I cannot come to a conclusion. Do I let it run it's course? Do I confront it? Do I..... take it up the ass? Things just seem so.... weird and out of place. I am debating between doing what my shmind is hell bent on doing and... doing the nice thing... I hate having a fscking conscience! But there's no use in fretting over it... there's nothing I can do. I don't have the "balls" to do anything about it. DAMMIT! I'm going to bed.... *grumbles* Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: nothing (Comment on this)
4:01 am	it's not easy being lei! I worked today. Like 6 hours past what I was supposed to get off. Sheesh! I made some MAD delivery money tho. I think Michelle (my superior.... allegedly) got mad at me b/c I wanted to leave at 7pm instead of 8pm. I mean, Jesus Tapdancin' Christ, I worked all fscking day!! (and also ((is 'and also' redundant?)) I think a certain someone is mad at me b/c she had to clock in for an hour to finish my one hour.) My legs feel like they were chopped off at the knees. It's also Pat and my 2nd anniversary. Which rocks.... we went to Fernando's. He's wearing my sleep pants right now. Which is kinda weird. They're lime green with pink hats all over them. I don't see what pink hats have to do with sleeping. Just whatever tho. I don't go into work until 5pm tomorrow! Yay! I wish I had more friends. It's just so hard to keep 'em. Kitties! Current Mood: drained Current Music: Pat jammin' on the guitar!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:23 am	Does life ever do.... ANYTHING? I mean, who controls our life? aliens? gods? who? I think whomever controls mine.... is taking a REALLY long lunch break or something. Nothing exciting happens. Ever. I wake up. Go to work. Come home. Go to sleep. Repeat. I just started back at Mazzio's. The manager was REALLY reluctant to give me a job there. My track record with Mazzio's is kinda ... well, I had been a little .... dammit, I can't think of the word. Anyway, I think it's gonna work out. I like the ppl there... well, most of 'em. There's this (I SWEAR I'm not making fun) mentally handicapped guy that works there. He's got a lazy eye and just kinda... babbles. He has someone there to help him work and I'm thinking to myself "If you can't even wash dishes by yourself, should you really be working?" I mean in all seriousness. He just freaked me out a little. I think he drooled on me. I have 3 kitty cats. Itty bitty, KILLA!!, and lil kay. I love 'em! :D And a husband named Patrick. I love him too. Why does poop stink? Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't... hmm... I'm trying to think if there's anything worth tellin'.... blah. nope. Current Mood: poopy Current Music: Garbage (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 23rd, 2004
2:55 pm	I remember I used to have one of these accounts when I was like 16. They're kinda dorky but... it's like you're supposed to let your feelings out or whatever but do I really want to be that vunerable to other ppl's opinions? So, basically, I wont be completely honest... that's just not me.*what am I getting at?* Blah blah blah... I'm cold. I'm really addicted to the Sims. I like to create whomever I hate the most (insert name here) and kill them. I know that's totally gross but I am human, with impulses and hate and....everything else that comes with being human. I have trouble dealing with whiny, everythings-all-about-me, watch-me-be-different, hypocritical,pathetic, .... people. I have absoulutely no toleration for them. I hate people that stereotype me and assume my feelings about things. I have a lot of really weird, perhaps metally deranged scenes that will play out in my head of me like shaking ppl or hitting ppl trying to force some kind of sense into them. I just don't understand a lot of ppl.... I try to make friends, which is a hard thing for me to do, and then it's like I find out how stupid these ppl are and I will completely disassociate myself from them. Or I'll end up loathing their very existance. But other than that I'm really a normal person. *big fake smile* When I'm at work and I see ppl look at me, I look fairly normal, jeans, plain t-shirt, chuck taylors... I wonder if they know just how... much I hate them. Current Mood: crazy Current Music: Nine Inch Nails- Reptile (1 Comment |Comment on this)